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09 June 2008 @ 09:14 am
All the way ... (1/?) [RPG´d fanfic, massano and more news member AI]  
Series Title: All the Way
Chapter Title: Disappearing Sorrow
Authors: kusanobabe05 and ivonnemcgruder
Beta: mtfanatic, thanks dear love you.
Rating: R
Pairing: massano
Notes: NewS-Heaven


Notti was completely smashed again...since he was suspended for being drunk when he wasn't he had figured he couldn't get in much more trouble then he already was. His life...his career seemed over...all because of a damn prank. He slurred out a request for another beer...

The beer was delivered, but by somebody, he never expected to be there. "Are you trying to finish yourself now or when you get the message that because of another paparazzi photo you are forbidden to come back?" Said Masuda Takahisa with that low voice of his and placed the bottle in front of Notti.

Notti glared, "I'm as good as gone and you know it so fucking what..."

Massu grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the bar, "Get yourself together, Notti, oh my god. Do you want me to call Yamapi or Kei? You should feel lucky that my sister is the waitress baka." Massu knew that he sounded serious; he didn’t like to sound like that.

Notti scowled, "NewS is doing fine without me...two singles and entire album? I'm supposed to feel needed? Fat fucking chance." he shoved Massu away and stomped off giving a very good example of why he really was the baby.

Massu just watched him for a while. Then he hid his hands in pockets and said,
"Yeah...of course. If you pick up at least every 10th call Kei and Shige are giving you, you’ll probably know how many letters we are getting. How many letters saying how Teppen without you sucks...Yamapi wrote you 100 messages... But go you idiot, go back and ...oh forget I’ve ever come." Massu hadn’t felt that angry for a very long time. He can forgive a lot; since he’s not the type to get angry easily...but this time…

He turned his back to Notti and was about to leave him, since he probably likes to get himself drunk and enjoy his loneliness.

Notti had never heard Massu yell at him, he collapsed as his vision blurred with tears. He whispered, "I'm sorry...I wish we'd never come to this...what happened to the kids we used to be..."

Massu’s heart clenched. He took a deep breath in and turned back, “C’mon Notti, let’s go home." Massu whispered as he patted Notti’s broad back.

Notti cried softly, "I don't even know where that is anymore..."

"Your mom told us that you are living in your own flat for last 3 months. Don’t you want to show me? I can tell you if it feels like home." smiled Massu softly, being Massu again...

Notti frowned, "It's really crummy and small. I barely have a bed...it's a lot smaller then any of the apartments Yamapi had in dramas." he stumbled off in the direction of his tiny studio, "Well are you coming..."

"Let’s stop in the convenience store first. I’m hungry," Massu said.

Notti snorted, "You're always hungry...no wonder Ryo calls you Buta..."

Massu pouted. They bought ramen in the nearby store as a cashier girl watched them. When they left Massu asked, "That wasn’t a glare of a fan...do you know that girl?"

Notti shrugged, "How should I know...I'm drunk remember..." as he led Massu up the stairs. He was far too poor to afford a place with an elevator.

"You weren’t that drunk to keep avoiding her eyes. And hurry, I’m really hungry." said Massu and passed his friend as he ran up the stairs.

"I don't care...she's not my type anyway..." Notti scowled.

"Ok, peace. Are we at least near your door?" Massu pouted innocently.

Notti pulled out his keys and unlocked G6. He swung the door as wide as he could and ushered Massu inside. He'd forgotten how filthy...not a great place to bring a neat freak. He shrugged, "Sorry about the mess..."

Massu stopped in the middle of the entrance. It is for Notti...for Notti...for my friend... "It’s ok." gritting his teeth and forcing a smile as he went inside. Massu sat by the little table next to the futon, which probably his friend used as a bed. He realized that he could cross the flat in a few steps. He watched Notti pour water in the bowls with ramen. "Notti…you know...there is no need to be an adult. Look at me, I’m still the same. You said where are those kids we used to be. I’m here, Kei will be child till he dies. Tegoshi has started to behave as if puberty hit just a while ago. Why do you force yourself to grow up so much?

"I have too...I just have to...With Hachibee becoming a parent and everyone else seeming to be happy I figured it was time to grow up. Besides I was tired of Mom telling me to move on with my life at least I went to college for something unlike neechan who went to college to flirt."

Massu met his own fear. Maybe he was the only one rejecting the fact that once he need to grow up as well. Next to Tegoshi and Kei, it was easy to believe that you can be child as long as you wish to be. "I’m sorry." Massu said when he considered his friend’s situation.

Notti sighed as he handed the food to Massu and plopped down on the bed, the only real furniture in the whole place. He patted the bed next to him. Sit down, its not much but its more comfortable then the floor."

Massu glared in the bowl on the noodles. They were enmeshed. So tightly...
"Why do you reject your old friends, Notti."

Notti frowned, "I thought after NewS came back without me I thought I wasn't needed. I went into a severe depression…hell I’m still depressed, who am I fooling? I should have stayed at Uchi's, he wouldn't have let me be depressed and Yassu wouldn’t have either." He felt sharp pain in his heart as he mentioned Yassu. He felt embarrassed talking about Yassu in front of Massu…

"And what about all those messages, calls and mail? Do you how much you hurt Kei with ignoring him?" Massu even put the bowl on the table and totally forgot his hunger.

Notti frowned, "I broke my phone in anger and haven't gotten it replaced yet so I haven't seen them. I still pay the bill but I've been too busy to go pick up a new one. Why did I decide to double major again..."

There are things that matters to Masuda Takahisa. Food, family, his body and the feelings of people he cares about. He got angry with Notti again. He wanted to tell him to suffocate himself with his self-pity. But then again...Notti was his friend as well. He ate a little of his ramen before standing suddenly and hitting his friend’s face with his fist.

Notti fell backwards in shock his hand on his cheek...Massu had hit him? Massu's words finally registered, Kei was upset? He remembered telling Kei that he broke his phone and that because of finals he couldn't pick up one for awhile. Trust Keimama to panic...he knew he should have stayed with Uchi...then none of this would have happened.

He saw Notti’s red face in panic; he felt his own tears as they filled his eyes. He just grabbed Notti’s hand pulling him close and hugged him tightly.

Notti hadn't been held in a long time...he just let Massu hold him...he had forgotten how much he needed human contact. He hadn't had much since he left Uchi's...and certainly nothing intimate either. He couldn't take anyone here...

Massu was suddenly overwhelmed by emotions. He just wanted his friend to feel that he’s not alone...not at all. "Notti..." Massu sighed and tightened the hug. Massu didn’t let go, but he felt himself go weak at the knees. He almost collapsed and forced Notti to follow him to the floor.

Notti had so much he wanted to tell Massu and none of the courage to do so. He wasn't the kid Massu remembered...he had changed so much since he was in NewS. He whispered, "Massu..."

Massu let go a little and looked in Notti’s eyes. He placed his palms on Notti’s cheeks and with his thumbs wiped the falling tears. "Come back to us...don’t think we don’t need you too." Their faces were so close...

Notti saw through a dim drunken haze, he pulled Massu closer to him and whispered, "Show me how much I'm needed..." he felt more complete then he had been in a long time and he wanted Massu to kiss him...to love him... no one knew that he wasn't straight anymore. In fact he wasn't sure he was in the first place...maybe he was just scared.

Massu just looked into those eyes, he finally could see that Notti is breaking a wall he defended himself with, "How, how can I convince you...tell me, show me."

“Tell me what you see when you look at me...be honest..." he said into Massu's shirt.

"Now I can see our Kusano Hironori, the boy I’ve met many years ago. But...you won’t believe me Notti, just a minute ago, there was a boy who looked exactly like you, but he wasn’t smiling like you, he had no energy to live...do you have a twin?" Massu joked but his voice was still soft, those tears didn’t stop and the hug wasn’t any softer....

Notti's heart swelled at those words, "I know I've change from the boy you used to know...but some changes aren't a bad thing..." with that said, he kissed Massu gently, tentatively. He hoped he wouldn't get decked for it...he was so scared as he left himself open and vulnerable to Massu. He hadn’t had the heart to do that since Yassu…

Massu froze, feeling Notti’s lips on his own...his eyes widen but he wasn’t able to move. Maybe it was from the salvo of the emotions he was exposed to for the past hour, but he just felt more tears come and his heart racing even faster. He closed his eyes in response to just feel.

Notti didn't feel Massu hitting him so he assumed the older man didn't mind so much. He kissed him harder, murmuring, "Massu..." as he threaded his fingers into Massu's thick hair pulling him closer. He had missed Massu more then KoyaShige, he hadn't expected to miss him that much. He caressed the back of Massu's neck as he kissed him...he wanted Massu to kiss him back....

Massu sucked lightly on his friend’s lips. It felt so...right in this situation. He parted his lips and placed his hands on Notti’s hips. He wasn’t really the type who enjoys sex that much, but he adores the feel of having a living body under his hands. Sometimes being busy with singing, photo shoots, and all of those appearances...he feels like a machine. But when he feels real warm body moving, living...it’s the best feeling ever.

Notti moaned as he felt Massu suck his lips. His brain nearly broke when he realized Massu was touching him. He wanted to touch Massu so much; he was only with Yassu for a short while because of how much he reminded him of Massu. He moved his hand to Massu's chest and began to caress lightly over the sensitive bud of flesh beneath the fabric. He whispered against Massu’s lips, "Can I do more then kiss you..."

Massu was confused completely...like never before, his eyes wide, frowning. He looked in Notti’s eyes. He wasn’t sure what to say, he just obeyed his current feelings and kissed Notti again.

Once more, he took the silence to note Massu didn't mind. He slid a hand under Massu's shirt and continued what he'd been doing earlier. He practically pulled Massu into his lap, vaguely aware of the tension that resided there right now. "Massu..." he whispered, "I know this might sound weird but I want you..."

"I...I don’t know...how..." Massu stuttered breathlessly. His chest falling and rising ... he shivered as he felt his friend’s hands on his skin.

Notti grinned, "I can show you if you'll let me...I won't push you. You tell me how far you’re comfortable with and that’s how far we go. I want you to want this too..." He nibbled on Massu's ear, leaving his mouth free to talk.

Massu sighed, letting his eyes close and his head fall to the side to expose more room for Notti to continue teasing him like this. He felt like the world around him disappeared right now. He felt like fainting off the bed and on the hard floor soon...

It sounded like a sigh of pleasure, Notti pushed Massu’s shirt over his head and attacked Massu's upper body with nipping kisses. He liked the way Massu tasted, he looked down at Massu as he pushed him down on the bed, "Massu, you're adorable...and you taste so good..."

Massu felt like a fucking virgin... he wasn’t able to move or let out any other sounds then few moans. He tried to remain conscious and hooked his fingers under the hem of Notti’s shirt. As he tugged up and off, he could feel his friend’s spine and shoulder blades moving with him.

Notti let Massu pull his shirt off before he kissed him again. Those lips were becoming addictive...he would give up the beer for them. He undid Massu's jeans gently and slid a hand inside them as he licked Massu's lips trying to gain entrance to Massu's mouth.

Massu broke the kiss and looked down at his friend’s hand. Was this really happening? He looked back in Notti’s eyes. Yeah...it was him...Notti...Kusano. Suddenly he felt a big wave of pleasure going down his spine. He arched his back and moaned loudly this time, his hands grabbing the sheets of the small futon.

Notti loved that sound, even more so that it was coming from Massu. "I can make you feel good if you'll let me...I want you so much..." He took advantage of Massu's open mouth and slipped his tongue past Massu’s parted lips.

Massu hungrily responded to the kiss and grabbed Notti’s spiky hair into his fist to make sure the younger one won’t let go. Their bodies touched... Massu started unconsciously moving against his friend’s moving hand for added resistance.

Notti kissed him before saying, "You don't want to make your clothes dirty...let me take them off and put them on the table." He tugged the rest of Massu's clothes off placing them on the only clean surface in the place and laid beside his friend. He kissed Massu again and again as he wrapped a hand around him once more.

Massu adored kissing...always since his first was sadly taken by Kei during their junior years in a stupid game. He ran his fingers through Notti’s spiky hair and let him lead again.

Notti didn't know that, but at the time he had been too childish to care. He moved his hand on Massu's half-hardness with sure knowing strokes. Massu said he didn't know how...he would have to show him how good it could be. He had never wanted someone as much as he wanted Massu, he realized as he captured Massu’s lips again.

He broke the kiss as he realized that it’s fucking difficult to concentrate while being touched like that, kissed senseless and undo someone’s belt all at the same time. Soon he gave up on Notti’s pants and with closed eyes; he just enjoyed the sensation of being adored... was that even the right word for it?

Notti undid his own pants and put Massu's hand back on him, "Do what you want to me...I want you to feel me too."

"Un..." agreed Massu and stroked his friend a few times until he realized that the pleasure he’s getting is too much to concentrate on giving as well. He finally just collapsed on his back and started to thrust into his friend’s hand, moaning, "Uhh...Notti..."

Notti grinned and moved his hand faster, "You're beautiful, Massu..."

He grabbed Notti’s head and forced it into the arc of his neck. He likes being sucked and kissed on his neck...so sadly, he usually gets scolded by make-up artist the next day, but he couldn’t help it.

Notti marked Massu as his own before rubbing his body against Massu's as he knelt between Massu's thighs, "Let me do this for you..." he took Massu in his mouth. He sucked hard, humming slightly as he moved on him.

Massu came in an instant arching against Notti’s lips, "Oh god..." Massu sang out when he finally felt a little conscious. He opened his eyes, focused on his friends smile and smiled a little as well. "Like...wow." Massu said, he wasn’t sure what to say or do now.

Notti licked him clean teasing him with his tongue. Then he lay on top of Massu again, telling him between kisses, "I told you I could make you feel good..."

Massu placed his hands on Notti’s broad back; he also felt that his friend is still hard. He rolled them over and kissed him, he was still a little frightened as he moved his hand down...

Notti closed his eyes and moaned, "Massu...OKami...that feels so good...sugoi...you're good..."

Massu find it a little bit uneasy to stroke in this angle. He laid himself beside Notti and reached for his manhood again, angled like it was his own. He increased the pace when he felt Notti thrusting into his hand. He kissed his friends shoulder and continued down on his neck since from this angle that was all he could reach.

Notti leaned back against Massu, this felt so right. He wanted more...he moved faster...groaning, "Massu...don't stop..." Massu's lips on his skin teased him and he loved it.

He didn’t know what more to do ...but he could tell that Notti was near the edge as the first drops of pre-cum hit his wrist. Massu whispered into Notti’s ear, "Come for me..."

Those words warmed his heart as he came fast and hard. He thrashed in Massu's clutches, screaming "Massu...aaaahhh..."

Massu let his hand hang there in the air and waited for Notti to came back to his senses while placing little butterfly kisses on his shoulder.

Notti rolled to face Massu as he tried to breathe again, he kissed him gently, "You were wonderful...Massu, thank you..."

And it was a time when Massu’s cell phone went off. He grabbed his pants and took out the phone, "Hai, moshi moshi?" He even forgot to be shy about walking naked in front of Notti. It was Kei to remind him of tomorrow’s early rehearsal.

Kei laughed, "Massu, you're still up? I thought I'd get a machine...where are you? Your sister said you disappeared."

Notti watched Massu, he wondered who it could be... he reached up to tap Massu's leg, "Who is it..."

"Ah, actually my sister called me to come to her work place. You know the bar on the Kitayama road. Guess who was there...drinking." Massu felt Notti’s hand on his leg and his cheeks went red. He made a step to the side out of his younger friend reach.

Kei sighed, "Notti...you found him there again. Smack Kusachii for me. Tell him I want to talk to him when you see him again."

“Actually I’m at his place now...want to talk to him?" Massu raised his eyebrows at Notti in meaning; want to talk to Kei-chan?

Kei yelped, "You're there...give the phone to Kusachii..."

Notti heard that through Massu's phone, he felt scared...he shook his head violently...

Massu felt again that the alien Notti is here. He wasn’t about to let the old one disappear again, not after what he just experienced. He grabbed Notti’s hand and placed the phone into it not giving him any chance to avoid the call...

Notti took the phone and said softly, "Kei...I'm here..."

Kei smiled sadly, "Kusachii, are you okay...Massu said you'd been drinking again. I've been so worried, when are you going to get your new phone..."

Notti felt hot tears fill his eyes and roll down his cheeks, "Kei...I'm sorry...I know I shouldn't drink so much but with you guys being so busy without me I get lonely. Sometimes I think I'm not needed anymore..."

Massu started to eat his cold ramen, but when he heard, that Notti’s voice was trembling he rose his head and watched the young boy pressing his knees to his chest.

Kei sucked his breath in, "Kusachii, how could you think that? You know how much Gesshi and I love you..."

"It’s NOTTI?!" screamed Shige through the phone. "Am I speaking to you? Like...really…I..." Shige suddenly sounded like he was trying not to cry as he talked to him. He heard Shige talk to Kei again, "I’m so glad he’s ok, please tell him, I..." his voice broke and he went silent.

There was a slight scuffling noise, Notti thought that meant Kei had pulled Shige into his lap as he heard him again, "It's okay Gesshi, Kusachii, are you still there..."

Notti cried harder as he heard Shige start to cry, "Kei, give Shige a hug for me...I'm sorry, I know I hurt him. I love you both so much, you looked out for me since I joined the Jumisho and I let you down...I'm sorry..."

Massu stood up and sat himself kneeling in front of Notti. He placed his left palm on his friend’s knee and with the other hand took the phone from Notti’s trembling hand:
"Kei? It’s Massu, everything is ok. Hai, I’ll take care of him, hai, promise. Hai, I’ll see you tomorrow 7 am, ja." He put the phone next to the futon and pulled Notti closer to him. He hugged him tightly. Massu had put his boxers back on when he passed the phone to Notti, but his friend was still naked. With one hand, he grabbed the blanket and threw it around Notti’s shaking body in his arms...

Notti felt Massu's embrace and wrapped himself around him, whispering, "Don't leave me alone in the dark...I need you..."

This reminded him of Tegoshi a long time ago. He remembered Tegoshi often crying during the Nippon tour. Tegoshi was a kid, nobody understood him back then, he didn’t understand anybody back then...once Tegoshi came into the hotel room, he fell on his knees and started crying hardly. After Massu hugged him, he also whispered , “Don’t leave me alone...I need you.” Only Tegoshi wasn’t naked, drunk and he most definitely hadn’t suck him off just minutes before. Massu felt butterflies in his stomach. He felt like something big happened today, but he wasn’t able to give it the name still. "Let’s go to sleep, ne?" he took Notti’s face in his palms and again tried to catch every tear with his thumbs.

Notti felt Massu's thumbs brush his face and shivered, "I know you're leaving early but don't leave without saying goodbye...I couldn't bare that right now..."

"I’m not that type and you know it." Massu said and laid down on the futon spreading his arms to show Notti where is his place to sleep tonight was.

Notti melded his body to Massu's, "I know, I was just asking...hold me..." he felt like such a girl and it pissed him off. He'd worry about that tomorrow the sun always brought him a small measure of happiness.

After a while, when Massu heard and felt that Notti is already sleeping, he calmly whispered into the silent of the little room, "Yappari...we are not the same kids we used to be, ne?" and smiled with melancholy visible in his eyes. He felt that Notti had awoken something new inside of him up. He didn’t know what exactly yet, but he knew that every change meant new troubles... he just sighed and kissed Notti’s forehead, "Maybe there are things that are worth growing up for."
Current Location: Office... O_o
Current Mood: calmcalm
Current Music: some korean radio
[ǝǝɹɥʇ] - n - ɐʎɐ ↑ayau3 on June 9th, 2008 07:37 am (UTC)
That was really good. :33 Waiting for the next chapter! :DD♥
Ivonne: News <3ivonnemcgruder on June 9th, 2008 09:06 am (UTC)
hayaku ne??? :) in reading :)

Thanks <3
nozomi777nozomi777 on June 9th, 2008 09:02 am (UTC)
"Kei will be child till he dies"
Massu is totaly right it's because I like koyama he he he ^^ ok, it's not the subject '^^

oh... Kusano was with Yassu before?!?! It's very sad to imagine Kusano like this... But Massu is here for him ne?

The moment when Kei speaks with Kusano was so beautiful!
I really like this chapiter and I'm waiting for the next!
Ivonne: Koyato rabuuu <3ivonnemcgruder on June 9th, 2008 09:09 am (UTC)
It seem he was...I´m not informed much about his past since I´m writing Massu´s character.

GLAD you like it, next chapter is laready in process.

Cris Liggettkusanobabe05 on June 10th, 2008 08:04 am (UTC)
Yassu reminds me of Massu with his recent style so I took a little creative license.
yuuyuutaru on June 9th, 2008 10:25 am (UTC)
this is great♥
the dialogue, the member ai, everything!
i'm looking forward to the next one :)
Cris Liggettkusanobabe05 on June 10th, 2008 08:02 am (UTC)
glad you like...gambare masu
nana_hikachan: hirosukenana_hikachan on June 9th, 2008 02:09 pm (UTC)

uwaaa *o*
Cris Liggettkusanobabe05 on June 10th, 2008 08:01 am (UTC)
you know you love me....
nana_hikachan: nikacrynana_hikachan on June 10th, 2008 08:49 pm (UTC)
yes..I do love you for all this sakurayo-san
faeriemtfanatic on June 10th, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
Awwww cuuuute Massu and Notti are sooo sweet.

You're welcome. Love you too^^
2sam564 on June 10th, 2008 06:53 am (UTC)
that was really good. it made me tear up a little. i may develop a new OTP out of this, ne? i'll be looking for more, and i flailed a bit that there was a Notti fic!
Ivonneivonnemcgruder on June 10th, 2008 07:28 am (UTC)
I wrote one Kusa/Massu already. It´s on massano_love community as well.

Glad you like this :)
Cris Liggettkusanobabe05 on June 10th, 2008 08:01 am (UTC)
Voice of notti here...I write a lot of notti fics. In fact I posted three today. I have a lot of nottipi, one kusatego and this one. My nottipi series is ending soon but check it out anyway...Its called to where you are.
Ivonneivonnemcgruder on June 11th, 2008 08:31 am (UTC)
And I wrote also one chaptered KusaPi. Here you can fidn it all:
R.fanart_love on June 22nd, 2008 09:00 pm (UTC)
Notti Love
^^ not many notti fics out there anymore ;) this is another fresh pairing (even though there's a couple of two shot pics of them), its really cute.
Cris Liggett: nottikusanobabe05 on June 22nd, 2008 09:10 pm (UTC)
Re: Notti Love
Notti needs more luv....huggles my notti muse. It okay i still love you...